Remember the absolute exhilaration of being a child when the Snow Day is announced? It feels like the skies have opened up and offered you a gift. A break from the normal routines of life. It felt like someone just went on your local news station and handed you a personal gift. Twenty four hours, maybe more, to do whatever you wanted in the house. You could play any game, read any book,listen to your favorite songs, watch your favorite movies and cartoons, probably taste your favorite treats, if you were lucky you got extra time with people in your family and friends that you loved. Snow days as a child are amazing.
Then ADULTHOOD sets in. Adulthood which leads to cleaning up, facing the cold, getting to work for many people has little to nothing to do with acts of God. At some point the joy you felt as a child is replaced with responsibilities and duties. Joy has left the building. The moment of transition from child to adult somewhere around 18 is when society dictates it is time to put away childish things. Joy is for the young only.
Should we be surprised that so many of us go astray from Christ during this time of life? Christ brings Joy. Too often we don’t learn how to keep Him (Joy itself) with us. When I lost Joy in my life. I didn’t just lose happy feelings. I lost direction. I lost clarity. I spent years searching for joy again. I found some unreasonable facsimiles. Money, glamour, prestige, sex, booze. The rock and roll lifestyle. It was never enough. I never felt as much joy as I did on those snow days of my youth.
Why not go back and discover the activities that created joy when I wasn’t looking outside? Maybe it is time to search within and find Joy again. He never went away.
I really thought that today was going to be the day I could get all of the chores done that I am behind on. Yet, when I…(12 hours later) I have finally gotten back to finishing this blog post. I stopped mid sentence because my life called. Again. And again. AND AGAIN. A grumpy baby. Was there any reason in particular for this grumpiness? No. No reason at all.
Yet, my son is always teaching me new things. Today, well yesterday really, was all about Grace. I had a bunch of desires and visions of how the day would be and what I could do. I knew how my son would behave. In reality, I had no idea. I was not going to be the author of that day. In reality, none of us are ever in control. God is in control.
Yesterday, God said to me: Total focus on the most important things in your life then rest. Repeat.
That’s it. That was all I could do yesterday.
Feeling a million times better today. So does baby. Lesson learned.
The Birth of my son was an amazing moment in my life. It was a peak experience. How else can you describe feeling so close to God? Creation has only convinced me more of the love God has for every single one of us. He created us!
Yet, right after that moment, I had a very frightening episode: severe preeclampsia. I was swiftly taken to another room. I was strapped into monitors, my arms and legs were placed in casings, monitors all around me, no food, only clear liquids, 24 hours of treatment and observation. The medications made me lethargic and only slightly grounded in reality. My only thought was 24 hours. 24 hours and then I can see my baby.
I am writing this blog, so you know what happened. The saints and the angels were with me. I survived. Baby and I are together all day at home. There are moments the exhaustion is profound. There are moments of anxiety when my mind is conjuring a million worst case scenarios. There are moments when I look in the mirror and wonder where the glamorous lady has gone. Still, more than any of that, I feel like I am thriving with a renewed sense of purpose. Many people mentioned postpartum depression to me and my husband. No one ever mentioned postpartum power to me. I feel like a strong mama bear that will and can protect her cub from anything. It’s like every comic book you ever loved. Super powers have arrived. Let the transformation commence!